Rina was bored. And when a Guardian Angel was bored, especially Rina, anything could happen. Rina shifted in her chair and started drumming her fingers on the table next to her. She stared at her best friend and partner-in-angelship, Krissy. Krissy, five years Rina's senior, sat quietly on the couch, reading a Jax story. Before long though, Rina's constant tapping was driving Krissy batty.
"Rina!" she finally shouted, leaning over to physically pull Rina's hand off the table.
Rina looked at her friend with an innocent expression. "What?"
"You were tapping. Repeatedly. Annoyingly," Krissy informed her.
"Sorry. I'm just so bored!" Rina wailed, jumping up. "There's nothing to do. Most of the Jax Angels are at home, depressed because he's so sad. I've already read all of Frieda's updates, all of Gossamer's MSR updates, and every single story at Heather's MSR Smutster's Paradise!"
Krissy sighed and put her binder of Jax NC-17 stories down. Good things rarely happened with Rina got like this. "Okay, I'm going to bite. What's Gossamer? And the Smutster's Paradise?"
"Gossamer is the home of 10,000+ X-Files stories," Rina explained. "Of course, I only read the MSR ones. MSR is Mulder/Scully Romance, and I know I've told you that before. The Smutster's Paradise is the best collection of Mulder and Scully smut around. I've sent you links to a lot of their stories. Remember 'Cheapened Things'? And 'A Word to the Wise'?" Rina asked, suddenly enthusiastic.
Krissy tried to remember. Rina had sent her so many X-Files NC- 17 stories, they were all blending together.
"Krissy. 150 K of sex. You can't forget that!" Rina said, horrified.
"Oh! That one!" Krissy remembered. Rina was right. You couldn't forget that one. "Yeah, that one was very good," Krissy agreed with a dreamy look on her face.
Rina suddenly deflated. "But there are only so many times you can re-read those stories, I need something else to do," she said speculatively. A slow smile spread over her face. "I've got it!" she exclaimed.
Krissy knew what was happening. This had happened before. "No. Rina, no. Can't you just write your own smut?"
Rina looked properly scandalized. "Krissy! I'm only 17 years old. What if my mother found it?" she asked, eyes wide. "No, we have to do something. I'll go check Mulder and Scully's GA status."
"But, Rina, we're *Jax's Guardian Angels," Krissy protested, knowing as she spoke that Rina wouldn't care.
"So? Jax has over 2,000 Angels. He'll never miss us. Remember what we did for Pacey and Joey? I've been checking on them, and they're doing great. Don't you want Mulder and Scully to be as happy?" Rina asked, pausing to give Krissy a mournful look.
Krissy sighed, unable to refuse Rina's pouting. "I give up. Check their GA status."
"Yea!" Rina squealed sounding more 7 than 17. "Krissy, this will be so much fun. Admit it, you liked setting up Pacey and Joey." She bounced over to the cabinet to look up their newest victims. Oops. Guardees, of course. "Okay. First up is Mulder, Fox William." She scanned Mulder's card. "Okay, he doesn’t have a GA, per se, but he does have someone who obsessively watches over him, Pickle. Pic and I are friends, not a problem. She doubles as a Shipper/MOHoRo, along with Cheryl, Kerri, and myself, and wants Mulder and Scully together with plenty of HML. They'll love us forever if we succeed."
Krissy looked at Rina like she was speaking another language. When Rina really got started, she could speak almost exclusively in acronyms and abbreviations. Rina moved to the S's.
"And now we have Scully, Dana Katherine. Well, here are the MOHoRos again." Rina glanced up at Krissy. "Majorly Obsessed Hopeless Romantics," she explained. She looked back down. "Well, except for the OBSSEs people, we're fine. They just worship Scully, so we won't really be stepping on any toes, although most probably won't be happy with us," she said with a grin. "Well, are you ready?"
"Ready as I'll ever be," Krissy grinned back. Rina's enthusiasm was contagious.
Ten minutes later, the duo was outside Mulder's apartment building. Krissy looked at Rina expectantly. "Don't look at me!" Rina exclaimed. "I don't know everything!"
"Well, do you know his apartment number?" Krissy asked reasonably.
"42. But what are we supposed to do? Knock on the door and say, 'Hi! We're Guardian Angels, and we're here to help your pathetic love life!'?" she said sarcastically.
Five minutes later...
Rina knocked on the door to apartment number 42. There was no sound from within.
"Maybe he's not home," Krissy offered.
"Krissy, it's 8 pm on a Saturday night, and the man has no life. He's home," Rina said determinedly. She pounded on the door in a very unladylike manner. "Fox! Open up the door already!"
Mulder peered through his peephole and saw two girls about 20 years old. The one pounding on the door was petite with short red hair and glasses, and the one looking embarrassed to be there was slightly taller with long, curly brown hair. They didn't look dangerous, but they did know his name. He decided to take the risk, and opened the door. The red head tumbled into him, forcing him to catch her before she fell to the floor.
She instantly melted into a figurative puddle, almost drooling at her close up view of his face. Well, her almost close-up view. She was a foot shorter than he was when she was standing up, and she was slumped even lower than usual. Rina locked eyes with Mulder, opened her mouth to profess her undying love for him...and Krissy cleared her throat. Instantly, the spell was broken. Rina wiped the drool off her mouth as Mulder set her straight on her feet. Rina glared at Krissy.
"Yeah, we'll see how much I let you drool when we meet Nikolas or Angel," she grumbled. Mulder cleared his throat in annoyance, and Rina turned back to him with a smile. "Hi, Mulder! I'm Rina. This is my friend Krissy. We're Guardian Angels," she said brightly. They offered him their IDs. Both girls had slightly tarnished halos in their pictures due to their NC-17 status.
|NC-17 Approved||Rina Stewart|
|Illinois State Leader|
|Guardian of Jax's hot kisses|
|NC-17 Approved||Kristine Locatis|
|NW States Co-Leader|
|Guardian of Jax's dreams|
He blinked. Maybe he should try to sleep more. His mind was obviously playing tricks on him.
"Did you just say you were my Guardian Angels?" he asked in disbelief.
Rina laughed. "No, that's not-"
"Oh, good," Mulder said in relief.
"Quite what I said," Rina finished. "We're not *your Guardian Angels. We're Jax's Guardian Angels. It's just that you need more help than Jax does right now." She pushed past him into the apartment and Krissy followed suit, each taking their IDs back.
"Hey!" Mulder protested as they sat on his couch. "What are you doing?"
"We need to talk, Mulder," Rina said authoritatively.
"Excuse me?" he said, amazed. "Who sent you? Are you one of Them?" he asked, suddenly wary.
"Ick, no!" Rina exclaimed. "I'm allergic to cigarettes, anyway. No, we're not evil, sweetheart. We're *angels," she enunciated. "You believe in aliens. How is it such a stretch to believe in angels?"
"Well, do a special angel thing," Mulder suggested suspiciously.
"A special angel thing?" Rina echoed. She glanced at Krissy helplessly.
"Well, to be honest, that's why we're here," Krissy told Mulder. He raised his eyebrows.
"That's so cute!" Rina gushed. Krissy cleared her throat, and Rina snapped back to professional mode. "We've been watching you for a few months now. Well, I've been watching you, anyway. Krissy's just here because I begged."
"Well, and because I know what could happen," Krissy clarified, thinking of the NC-17 fictions Rina had sent her.
"Right," Rina nodded. "So, anyway, I've been watching you for a few months now, but I've gotten caught up on everything since you were partnered with Scully on the X-Files. Which, actually, is why we're here."
"The X-Files?" he asked, confused.
Rina and Krissy traded a look. "Oh, for heaven's sake, even Pacey wasn't this dense," Rina groaned. "No, Mulder, honey. We're here because of Scully, not the X-Files."
"What do you want with Scully?" he asked, barely concealing his panic.
Rina smiled. Now they were getting somewhere. "Mulder, we know that you are in love with Scully. That's why we're here. See, we know that she is in love with you, too."
"And how would you know that?" he asked.
"We're angels, Mulder," Krissy reminded him.
"Besides, anyone with two eyes can see it. Except you and Scully, of course. You're both blind in that respect," Rina jumped in.
Mulder was starting to believe, despite his reservations. Rina saw him weakening. "Mulder, what will it take for you to believe us?"
He briefly considered asking about Samantha, but decided not to since they claimed their mission was for Scully. He was about to speak when he noticed that Rina's eyes had glazed over and that she was staring at him blankly.
"Um, is she okay?" he asked Krissy.
She looked at Rina and sighed. This had happened with Pacey, too. "Rina-doll, snap out of it. He's not yours."
Rina snapped out of it. "I know, I know. So, did I miss anything?"
"You asked what it would take. Make Scully come over here and talk about the day that damned bee stung her, and want to finish what we started," Mulder said, certain that they would refuse or not have a clue of what he was talking about.
Instead, they looked at each other and high-fived. "Excellent! That's actually along the lines of what I had planned anyway," Rina grinned. "This just erases a step and saves time."
"We'll be right back," Krissy told Mulder, who gasped as the angelic duo disappeared.
"I really have to cut down on those sunflower seeds," he said to himself, rubbing his forehead.
Ten minutes later, the girls reappeared and found Mulder sprawled out on his couch with his arm over his eyes.
"Isn't he adorable?" Rina whispered mushily. "I almost hate to do this."
Krissy grinned and covered her ears.
"WAKE UP, FOX WILLIAM MULDER!" Rina shouted at the top of her lungs.
He leaped off the couch, startled. "What?"
"You have company coming over," Rina scolded. "Is this how you want Scully to find you?"
"You're back?" he asked, disconcerted.
"Well, we said we would be," Rina reminded him.
"So, what did you do?" he asked, finally believing them, and now a bit curious.
"Slightly different approach than with you," Krissy explained.
"We knew we'd have an even harder time with her than you, so we stayed invisible, and pretty much controlled her thoughts. Although she really was thinking along those lines, anyway. She should be here in about twenty minutes, so we need to get everything ready," Rina said.
"Everything?" he asked, bewildered.
"Yep. Krissy, you take care of cleaning up," Rina directed. "Cleaner, but not too clean. Scully will think he's Eddie Van Blundht again. Mulder, you need to get dressed. What you're wearing just isn't okay."
He looked down at his sweats and T-shirt. "Okay."
Rina looked at him critically while Krissy used Special Angel Powers to straighten things up. "Blue jeans and a black T-shirt," Rina decided. "Go change." He did as she asked and came back in that outfit. She tousled his dark brown hair and stepped back to look at the effect. Something was missing. She snapped her fingers. "Glasses. That's it." She grabbed them off of his table and he slipped them on. "Perfect," Rina nodded, and Krissy concurred.
Just then, the doorbell rang. Rina raised her eyebrows. "She must have flown over," she grinned. "Good luck, Mulder. Just remember that she loved you before we speeded things up, and you'll be fine."
There was another loud knock. "I'll be right there," Mulder called before turning to Rina and Krissy. "Thank you. Both of you," he said, bending down to give first Rina and then Krissy a kiss.
"Bye, Mulder," Rina said dreamily as the girls disappeared and Mulder rushed over to the door to let Scully in. She stood in his doorway, slightly out of breath, looking haphazardly thrown together. Her white button down blouse was untucked from her jeans, and her ponytail was sloppy.
"Mulder, we need to talk," she said, brushing a few errant strands of auburn hair from her face.
"I love you," he said softly, deciding to forego the discussion of their almost kiss. They both knew what had happened and why.
She just looked at him, breathing hard, before breaking out into a huge, glowing smile. "I love you, too," she said, throwing her arms around his neck.
Grinning in delight, he said a silent word of thanks to the angels for their help, picked Scully up off the floor and shut the door in one fluid motion, carried her to the couch, and laid her down. Rina, who was watching from outside the window, turned to Krissy.
"Let me just get them some mood music, and then we'll go. There's a fine line between reading NC-17 stories and watching them happen." Smiling, she turned the radio on, and Boyz II Men's "I'll Make Love to You" began to play.
Scully looked up at Mulder, who was lying on top of her, dropping tiny kisses on her forehead. "Magic music?" she asked with a smile.
"Angelic music," he corrected, pressing more kisses along her throat, eliciting a moan from her as she arched her neck to allow him easier access.
Krissy covered Rina's eyes. "Time to go, little girl," she grinned.
When they were back at Angel Headquarters, Rina sighed happily. "Wasn't that fun?" she asked. "I was getting a little worried there with Mulder, though. I thought he would have been a little more receptive to the idea of us."
"Even though he didn't fawn all over you like Pacey did?" Krissy asked, relaxing into the deep white couch.
"Krissy, he's 21 years older than I am," Rina reminded her. "He could be my father!"
Krissy laughed. "Yeah, but if he had made a move, and the rules didn't prevent it, you wouldn't have thought twice."
"Goes without saying that I'd be the one on that couch right now, not Scully."
"But you are right. That was a lot of fun," Krissy admitted.
Rina dropped melodramatically onto a matching white chair with her hand pressed against her heart. "I think I'm in shock!"
Krissy laughed. "So who's next, Cupid?"
"Good question," Rina mused. "If you're up for a trip to December 1941, we can help Scott and Betty or Hilary and Jeff. Or maybe both. Or if you prefer warmer weather, Rita and her baby need Chris around. Or maybe..."
Krissy laughed to herself as Rina continued throwing out possibilities. At least things wouldn't be boring.
Betty Roberts, Scott Sherwood, Hilary Booth and Jeff Singer belong to Rupert Holmes. They used to belong to AMC, too, but the idiots there canceled them.
Chris Lorenzo, Rita Lance Lorenzo, and their nameless baby, who's now 2 years old, belong to Stu Segall and USA.
Jax belongs to Mickey Mouse and ABC.
Rina, Krissy, Pic, Cheryl, and Kerri belong to themselves, although we'd love to belong to David Duchovny, as well.
The stories mentioned within are the property of their authors. I really suggest you read them if you haven't already.
"A Word to the Wise" was written by Karen Rasch and is all hers. "Cheapened Things" was written by MD1016 and is hers. His? Both can be found at Gossamer.
"I'll Make Love to You" is performed by Boyz II Men.
Back to Index